So, we're 8 days out from the big ultrasound. This is about the time when I start having irrational fears. What if there's something wrong? I wish that our bellies were made of glass and we could see what was going inside, like watching a fish swimming in circles in its bowl. I know there is nothing that I can do but wait. Tick tock.
To pass the time (and to give myself something to giggle at while at work), please send me your worst baby names. We're not taking requests from the audience here (read: you'll have to deal with the wonderful/awful name that we select for our child... you have named your own or someday will name your own so please keep your opinions hush-hush, mkay?) but I thought it would be fun to share some of the inane baby names that parents have come up with. To kick this off, I'll share two stories, the first from a friend from Bucknell. She was a nanny for the Pelekus family in San Francisco (yes, we can all smell the marijuana smoke from here). The family had two children, a boy and a girl. The kids had regular run of the mill names like Jane and Billy. One day, she had to take the children to register for school and she needed their birth certificates. Red in the face, the mother handed over the certificates. She explained that she and her husband thought it would be funny to give the kids random names on their birth certificates but call them by regular names. On the certificates she read out loud Freakus Pelekus and Big Tits Pelekus.
Second story: It was 1995 and my friend Magnus and I walked into the Blockbuster video store on the Post Road in Greenwich. We selected a movie and brought it up to the counter to check it out. The girl behind the counter was sporting a name tag. It read "Shithead." I told her it was genius! How on earth did she get her boss to agree to let her wear such a name tag at work, I asked. The girl gave me the look of death. "My name is pronounced Sha-theed" she said. Needless to say, I never returned to that Blockbuster and many friends still refer to me as Assface (pronounced As-fasse).
Finally, a friend from work sent me this little gem. I'm hoping its not what Baby Harvill is really thinking in there:
1 comment:
Er -
I so miss the Pelekus's. I swear people out here try to screw with their kids. Worst sibling names - Atticus and Harper (yes, I too read To Kill a Mockingbird, but come on), and then Finn and Fionna (my spelling is actually right on this - they wanted the names to basically be the same).
Worst individual name - Margo Plicatus - its actually part of a horse's stomach and the parents knew that when naming their child. I knew someone in vet school that used the name as her "alternative personality" aka drunk.
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